As a professional Wedding Officiant, I meet a variety of couples from all different walks of life. I’m always asking them a myriad of questions with the intention of diving beneath the surface to learn more about their story and how they got here… They range from simple everyday things to deeply personal ponderings that give opportunity for my clients to connect with each other in areas they may not think to pursue on their own.
Similar to when you’re planning a wedding, there is so much pressure on all of us to do things a certain way and other momentous occasions, including “hallmark holidays” are no different. We’re fed so much commercialism through every outlet all day long and while I have no problem with giving tangible gifts if that speaks to your love language, I do think there is a growing number of people who value experiences over things…. People that far more appreciate your time or something you’ve invested yourself into, over a feeling of obligation or store-bought gift any day.
While the history and true meaning behind many of today’s holidays are largely unrecognizable in this day and age, I encourage you to think about what the upcoming holiday means to YOU. Because regardless of what it means to the rest of the world, the truth is, you can celebrate any day or holiday in whatever way you please. So if cupid’s arrow strikes you and celebrating February 14th feels like an excuse just as good as any, to celebrate your love, then I say go for it. But don’t for a minute think that a bouquet of roses, reservations at the fanciest restaurant or highest price tag is the only way to do that…
An unconventional Valentine’s Date
This Valentine’s Day, plan a date around celebrating your love by connecting on a deeper level with your partner. It is so important to make time to do this because we just simply don’t get to do this every day. Unless we’re very intentional about carving time out on a regular basis to listen to each other and speak to each other’s love languages, it’s really easy to be complacent in our relationships. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less, just that we’re human. We’re often stretched thin, managing a packed schedule, trying to balance other’s needs with our own and carrying a heavy load of responsibility. Guys, adulting is HARD. Yupp, I used a made-up word but it’s true.
And I can so relate. My partner and I are the co-ring leaders of our very own circus, complete with two little monkeys who keep us on our toes, an arena with a magical re-filling dish sink and a never-ending act that requires a daily encore. It’s full of thrill and excitement at center stage but behind the scenes, we’re also just doing our best to keep all the balls of this juggling act in the air… So, when we get a chance to escape for a date night or weekend away, we rejoice at the opportunity to draw closer together.
Some of our favorite ways to connect as a couple :
- A Date Day Road Trip (with no destination at all or to a favorite spot)
- 365 Connecting Questions (we pull this out whenever we need a little inspiration)
- Game night (Did someone say, Yahtzee?)
- Overnight Getaway (the re-filling dish sink at home is terribly distracting)
- Try Something New Together (Partner Yoga is full of laughs & did not disappoint)
So, if you’re the unconventional type, open to an opportunity to slow down or simply willing to go out on a limb to try something new in the name of love, I invite you to join us in ditching the expectations of what others think we’re “suppose to do” to show our love and just SHOW UP FOR LOVE – in whatever way that looks like for you. Spending your life getting to know and gaining a better understanding of each other helps strengthen your relationship so that you can overcome the days that feel mundane and hard. You never know what you’ll uncover when you take time to connect in unconventional ways…